Loves of a Sex Geek

Sex-Positive Counselor

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I Am NOT Cisgendered

Gender is an increasingly complicated social construct. This is why I try to remember not to pre-gender people and let them tell me who they are.

Filed under gender Gender Roles gender expectations

24,124 notes

Anonymous asked: Towards the whole "pronouns hurt people's feelings" topic. Am I REALLY the only person on the planet that thinks people are becoming far to sensative? Nearly to the point that they shouldn't leave their little home bubbles in the case that a bird chirps next to them in a way that sounds like a mean word. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, we're becoming a little TOO coddling and people need to learn to deal with simplistic shit like words. And yes, I've been insulted and made fun of. I got over it. So can you.


Supposedly invented by the Chinese, there is an ancient form of torture that is nothing more than cold, tiny drops falling upon a person’s forehead. 

On its own, a single drop is nothing. It falls upon the brow making a tiny splash. It doesn’t hurt. No real harm comes from it. 

In multitudes, the drops are still fairly harmless. Other than a damp forehead, there really is no cause for concern. 

The key to the torture is being restrained. You cannot move. You must feel each drop. You have lost all control over stopping these drops of water from splashing on your forehead. 

It still doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But person after person, time and time again—would completely unravel psychologically. They all had a breaking point where each drop turned into a horror. Building and building until all sense of sanity was completely lost. 

"It was just a joke, quit being so sensitive."

"They used the wrong pronoun, big deal."

"So your parents don’t understand, it could be worse."

Day after day. Drop after drop. It builds up. A single instance on its own is no big deal. A few drops, not a problem. But when you are restrained, when you cannot escape the drops, when it is unending—these drops can be agony. 

People aren’t sensitive because they can’t take a joke. Because they can’t take being misgendered one time. Because they lack a thick skin. 

People are sensitive because the drops are unending and they have no escape from them. 

You are only seeing the tiny, harmless, single drop hitting these so-called “sensitive” people. You are failing to see the thousands of drops endured before that. You are failing to see the restraints that make them inescapable.

Filed under gender transphobia pronouns

334,115 notes

How rape trials should go?

Did he rape her?
Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.
That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?
Yes, but she was wearin-
I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?
Yes, but-
I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?
Yes, he raped her.
Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.

Filed under rape rape culture sexual violence

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Colbie Caillat - Try

A refreshing look at the beauty behind the extra enhancements of makeup, hair styling, and photoshop.


3 notes

Hurt Vs. Harm in BDSM


I know this cat so go read his stuff at: 

His submission:


There are many different types of people involved in both kink and BDSM. There are many different roles that these people play as well. There are Doms and Dommes, subs and bois, painsluts and kinksters and more and more and more. Even within these different roles there are degrees of difference as well. A sadist does not have to be a Daddy, but they can be. A masochist is not required to be a submissive. To further complicate things the types of scenes can, and will, change from one to the next even within the same relationship. So a Dom may have a very intense single tail scene with their partner one day and have a sensual sensation play scene involving no pain what so ever the next. There is one common theme throughout all of this though; while not every scene will involve hurting someone they will always run the risk of harming someone.

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Filed under bdsm hurt harm safe sex safety Sex education