I don’t believe in NRE. What people call NRE is actually IFE — intimate focus energy. The giddiness, excitement, high-nourishment state is not caused by novelty, and does not have to dissipate with time….I cannot be in a romantic relationship without IFE, not because I’m “just in it for the excitement”, but because I value that intimate focus, and I know it can be created any amount of time into the relationship.
I know a few ways of creating IFE, and I hope to learn more. Here are the ones I know so far: Keeping the other person in my thoughts — considering their desires and needs when deciding what to do, talking to them often, trying to make plans for intimate time with them often. Practicing intimate time — time with lots of eye contact and focus on each other and on the connection between us (not just on external issues, though sharing external struggles can also build intimacy). Practicing conscious touch — touching/kissing with total focus on the other person and attention to their responses/desires (yes, even after you can predict what they will like! that focus serves more than one purpose!). But I think it all boils down to practicing sustained awareness of the other person.
Modern science has discovered that the clitoris is far more complex and influential than previously thought. It has also proven how biased and discriminatory science and research has been over the years. One of the best places to counter continued sexism in our society is in medicine and scientific research. Kudos to French researchers Dr. Odile Buisson and Dr. Pierre Folds for making the step towards scientific knowledge and greater pleasure for women across the planet.
“It’s Okay to be Neither,” By Melissa Bollow Tempel
Alie arrived at our 1st-grade classroom wearing a sweatshirt with a hood. I asked her to take off her hood, and she refused. I thought she was just being difficult and ignored it. After breakfast we got in line for art, and I noticed that she still had not removed her hood. When we arrived at the art room, I said: “Allie, I’m not playing. It’s time for art. The rule is no hoods or hats in school.”
She looked up with tears in her eyes and I realized there was something wrong. Her classmates went into the art room and we moved to the art storage area so her classmates wouldn’t hear our conversation. I softened my tone and asked her if she’d like to tell me what was wrong.
“My ponytail,” she cried.
“Can I see?” I asked.
She nodded and pulled down her hood. Allie’s braids had come undone overnight and there hadn’t been time to redo them in the morning, so they had to be put back in a ponytail. It was high up on the back of her head like those of many girls in our class, but I could see that to Allie it just felt wrong. With Allie’s permission, I took the elastic out and re-braided her hair so it could hang down.
“How’s that?” I asked.
She smiled. “Good,” she said and skipped off to join her friends in art.
As the National Sexuality Resource Center noted on their facebook page: “This is a good article, but it does simplify early childhood gender expression to clothes and toys, which could be limiting.”
Founded in 2007 by endocrinologist Norman Spack and urologist David Diamond, the clinic — known as GeMS and modeled on a Dutch program — is the first pediatric academic program in the Western Hemisphere that evaluates and treats pubescent transgenders. A handful of other pediatric centers in the United States are developing similar programs, some started by former staffers at GeMS.
It was in that clinic, under Spack’s care, that Nicole and her family finally began to have hope for her future.
Nicole knows there is a long road ahead, but she feels she’s on the right path.
“Obviously my life is not going to be as easy as being gender-conforming, but there are perks like being able to get out there and do things that will benefit the [transgender] community,’’ she says. “I think everything’s going to turn out pretty well for me.’’
“I want a future where women and girls get to be the subject of their own sexuality, not the object of somebody else’s. That we are the main characters in our own play, not props in somebody else’s—which is how women’s sexuality is treated now. Whatever the outside attitudes about sexuality it’s always about somebody’s agenda for us, and I want a world where we can have our own.”—Jaclyn Friedman (ConsentFest talks about sex, and wants to add more voices | OpenFile)
A smart and intuitive article about how pervasive and offensive male privilege is in geek/nerd culture. Being a geek I can absolutely agree with all of Dr. NerdLove’s points and I hope that discussions of this type help to improve geeks’ attitudes regarding gender.
How can anybody still hope for equal rights and acceptance when there are still communities in this nation who are so exclusionary “to promote greater unity among the church body.” Stories like this make me wonder if our fight for equal treatment regardless of biological sex, gender presentation, and sexual attraction or love will ever be enough. Won’t stop me from trying, though!
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing, speaks out against religious-fueled discrimination and bullying and calls for everyone to try LOVING rather than rejecting people different than ourselves. I have tried to live by this moral all of my adult life and sincerely believe that love, truly unconditional love for our fellow men and women regardless of differences, will be the changing force behind world-wide peace.