Loves of a Sex Geek

Think it. Feel it. Fuck it.

Posts tagged choice

216 notes &

amelia-ace:

A little off-topic for this blog, but I have a point to make.
It’s your body. You can dress how you like, pierce it as you like, tattoo it, modify it in any way you see fit. Nobody has the right to give you crap about what you do to it. Shave your head if that’s what you want. Don’t shave your armpits, or your legs, if that will make you happy.
You chose who gets to explore your body with you. Have sex if you want it, with who you want it with (if they want it too, of course.) Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise.
And of course, if you don’t want sex, that’s cool too. Your body is yours. Do with it what you will.

amelia-ace:

A little off-topic for this blog, but I have a point to make.

It’s your body. You can dress how you like, pierce it as you like, tattoo it, modify it in any way you see fit. Nobody has the right to give you crap about what you do to it. Shave your head if that’s what you want. Don’t shave your armpits, or your legs, if that will make you happy.

You chose who gets to explore your body with you. Have sex if you want it, with who you want it with (if they want it too, of course.) Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise.

And of course, if you don’t want sex, that’s cool too. Your body is yours. Do with it what you will.

(via genderfluidity)

Filed under freedom of choice freedom choice gender consent

9,624 notes &

A Quick Guide to Whether a Woman Owes You Something

Dude:
I want to know if a woman owes me something.
Guide:
Well, did you enter into a loan contract with a woman, providing her with goods or money that has not yet been returned?
Dude:
No.
Guide:
Hmm. Well, do you have some other contractual agreement to provide goods or services in exchange for a compensation that has not yet been made?
Dude:
No.
Guide:
It doesn't sound like a woman owes you something.
Dude:
What if I sent her a private message on this web forum we both post at.
Guide:
Ah. She doesn't owe you shit.
Dude:
Well, what if I sent her a message on a dating site. That's just be rude to ignore.
Guide:
She doesn't owe you shit.
Dude:
Isn't it just common courtesy to write a detailed explanation of why she won't respond favorably to me after I've messaged her five times?
Guide:
She doesn't owe you shit.
Dude:
What if we go on a date and I buy her dinner...
Guide:
Doesn't owe you shit.
Dude:
Or if we've been dating a few months, and...
Guide:
Doesn't owe you shit.
Dude:
Well, how about we're married and I'm in the mood...
Guide:
She. Doesn't. Owe. You. Shit.
Dude:
Shouldn't I at least be entitled to some sort of...
Guide:
Don't owe you shit.
Dude:
Well, I don't think that's very decent.
Guide:
She still won't owe you shit.

Filed under expectation gender norms gender roles rape culture entitlement sexism freedom choice consent

97 notes &

genderfluidity:

scientificinqueery:

mama-boy:

reblogable per request! 

Disclaimer: I have it easier than many other non cis gender-nonconforming and trans* people, I’m aware of this, but not being cis is fucking hard.
I face sexism and cissexism in my daily life. Being a woman is something very important to me and I guess you could say I identify as a woman for very political reasons. As a genderfluid FAAB person who still identifies strongly as a woman, I like to think of myself as a queerer of the binary and a fighter for freedom from the heteronormative gender roles society has laid out for us. So don’t you ever dare call me unfeminist.
Feminism began with equality for women, and for me, feminism has expanded to be intersectional equality among genders and all these other aspects of identities. It’s not about femininity. I’m fighting for my right as a woman to be whoever I want to be, because that is who I am. And if who I am on a particular day is more of a boi, feminism is about my right to express myself as I want.
The personal is political, and in that sense, every gendered mannerism, every gendered clothing choice, and every gendered stereotype I defy, is me making a political statement as a woman and as a queer, and that does not make me any less genderfluid or any less of a woman, either. My fluidity and my womanness together break down your binary and in my eyes are both a step toward my personal freedom and a baby step toward gender equality and freedom from heteropatriarchy as a whole.

You are so fantastic.

Yes Yes Yes!

genderfluidity:

scientificinqueery:

mama-boy:

reblogable per request! 

Disclaimer: I have it easier than many other non cis gender-nonconforming and trans* people, I’m aware of this, but not being cis is fucking hard.

I face sexism and cissexism in my daily life. Being a woman is something very important to me and I guess you could say I identify as a woman for very political reasons. As a genderfluid FAAB person who still identifies strongly as a woman, I like to think of myself as a queerer of the binary and a fighter for freedom from the heteronormative gender roles society has laid out for us. So don’t you ever dare call me unfeminist.

Feminism began with equality for women, and for me, feminism has expanded to be intersectional equality among genders and all these other aspects of identities. It’s not about femininity. I’m fighting for my right as a woman to be whoever I want to be, because that is who I am. And if who I am on a particular day is more of a boi, feminism is about my right to express myself as I want.

The personal is political, and in that sense, every gendered mannerism, every gendered clothing choice, and every gendered stereotype I defy, is me making a political statement as a woman and as a queer, and that does not make me any less genderfluid or any less of a woman, either. My fluidity and my womanness together break down your binary and in my eyes are both a step toward my personal freedom and a baby step toward gender equality and freedom from heteropatriarchy as a whole.

You are so fantastic.

Yes Yes Yes!

Filed under genderfluid feminism freedom choice gender genderqueer gender equality gender expression

7 notes &

A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, [it is] an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.
Naomi Wolf, as mentioned by Reid Mihalko on Facebook

Filed under health equality control freedom choice culture peer pressure

4,840 notes &

Yes, we live in a sexist culture, in which women have no good choices when it comes to our bodies. We live in a sexist culture in which women are valued primarily as sexual objects, and at the same time are shamed for our sexuality. It seems to me that we have two choices as to how to respond to this. We can try to navigate the narrow, essentially impossible shoals of these contradictory expectations, and try to find that perfect, socially acceptable line between slut and prude.

Or we can say, “Fuck it. There is no way I can win — so I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want. I’m going to wear overalls, or I’m going to wear high heels. I’m going to have sex with twenty strangers in a night, or I’m not going to have sex with anyone. I’m going to dress conservatively and professionally in public at all times, or I’m going to sell naked pictures of myself on the Internet if I bloody well feel like it.”

And in saying, “I can’t win, so I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want to do,” we can create the beginnings of a victory. We can create the beginnings of a world where we really can win. We can create the beginnings of a world where we’re a little more free than the women who came before us… and where the women who come after us are a little more free than we are. We probably can’t create a perfect world, where women’s bodies aren’t commodified in the slightest (not in this generation, anyway). But we can create a better world: a world where women’s bodies and minds belong less to the patriarchy, and more to ourselves.
Greta Christina (What I May Do With My Naked Body: A Reply to Azar Majedi About the #NudePhotoRevolutionaries Calendar)

(via sexisnottheenemy)

Filed under freedom choice sexuality society culture

588 notes &

Americans are creating massive public outcries in favor of birth control. Translation: Americans are creating massive public outcries in favor of sex for pleasure, sex for reasons other than procreation, sex for sex’s own sake. Americans are willing to stand up and acknowledge that they have sex because it feels good — and they are creating massive public outcries when people try to interfere with that, or try to shame them about it. I don’t think that would have been the case twenty years ago. Maybe not even ten years ago. But now, today, in 2012, Americans are willing, and proud, and passionately eager, to say out loud, ‘I use birth control. I have sex for pleasure. I don’t want to have children right now, I may never want to have children — and I still plan to have sex. And that is a good thing.’
Greta Christina (Birth Control, and Why I’m Proud of Americans Right Now)

(via sexisnottheenemy)

Filed under birth control freedom choice sex positive pleasure politics

3,917 notes &

We have this entire culture that’s telling people that there’s One Right Thing To Want. Dudes, for instance, are supposed to have a high sex drive, to like porn, to enjoy casual sex, to be attracted to thin young feminine large-breasted women, to want anal sex and public sex and rough sex, to not want pegging and ageplay and vanilla missionary with the lights out. If you’re asexual you’re broken; if you like drag you’re a pervert and probably a pedophile; if you’re a male submissive you’re pathetic and unmasculine; if you’re queer you’re destroying America. I don’t understand why people do this: what possible gain could there be from reducing the vibrant rainbow of human sexuality to two colors (the dude color and the girl color)? Those two colors look much nicer as part of the whole spectrum.
On Good Consent, Part One | No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz? (via sexisnottheenemy)

(via sexisnottheenemy)

Filed under freedom choice sexuality diversity sexual orientation pleasure