Loves of a Sex Geek

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Posts tagged relationships

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Solo Poly/Single People: Please participate in this survey!

AggieSez is one of the awesome new(ish) bloggers on the polyamory scene over at Solopoly.net, quite possibly my favorite blog at the moment. She’s working on writing a book with Lily Loyd about nonstandard relationships: “relationships that are somehow off society’s standard relationship escalator norm: strictly monogamous, lifelong cohabitating partners (married or equivalent, perhaps with kids) or relationships that are clearly progressing toward that goal.” She put together a survey seeking first-person experiences and data for the book. She’s had a great response so far but needs more data from people who aren’t part of a primary couple. So if you’re poly and aren’t primary partners with someone else, please consider adding your voice to her (anonymous) survey!

Filed under polyamory solo non-primary relationships nonstandard

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lets-talk-about-umm:

desires-andso-much-more:

so few have had the privilege of earning my trust…there are a lot of people who would rather lie and hurt you than to just be your friend…sad but true

I tend to trust to soon. But…you break that trust, there is no second chances. Maybe a flaw? But to go around in this world and not trust fellow humans it would be a lonely world.

I used to trust easily at first, but lose trust just as easily. Now, I am far more careful with my heart, my body and reserve trust for those who earn it.

lets-talk-about-umm:

desires-andso-much-more:

so few have had the privilege of earning my trust…there are a lot of people who would rather lie and hurt you than to just be your friend…sad but true

I tend to trust to soon. But…you break that trust, there is no second chances. Maybe a flaw? But to go around in this world and not trust fellow humans it would be a lonely world.

I used to trust easily at first, but lose trust just as easily. Now, I am far more careful with my heart, my body and reserve trust for those who earn it.

Filed under trust relationships

25,015 notes &

psychoelou:

To the casual observer, this young couple look just like any other teenagers in love.
But pretty Katie Hill and her boyfriend Arin Andrews share a unique bond - they were both born as the opposite sex.
Katie, 18, spent the first 15 years of her life as Luke, son of a Marine colonel, while Arin, 16, was born a girl called Emerald who excelled at ballet dancing and won beauty contests.
Both struggled with their sexuality all through their childhoods and were teased and bullied but their lives were changed when they both began hormone therapy and later met at a trans support group in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and instantly fell in love.
Katie said: ‘All I saw was a handsome guy. We’re perfect for each other because we both had the same troubles growing up.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2230658/The-sex-change-sweethearts-How-pageant-princess-colonels-son-fell-love-BOTH-transgender-treatment.html#ixzz2Bu4Gv7RQ Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

psychoelou:

To the casual observer, this young couple look just like any other teenagers in love.

But pretty Katie Hill and her boyfriend Arin Andrews share a unique bond - they were both born as the opposite sex.

Katie, 18, spent the first 15 years of her life as Luke, son of a Marine colonel, while Arin, 16, was born a girl called Emerald who excelled at ballet dancing and won beauty contests.

Both struggled with their sexuality all through their childhoods and were teased and bullied but their lives were changed when they both began hormone therapy and later met at a trans support group in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and instantly fell in love.

Katie said: ‘All I saw was a handsome guy. We’re perfect for each other because we both had the same troubles growing up.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2230658/The-sex-change-sweethearts-How-pageant-princess-colonels-son-fell-love-BOTH-transgender-treatment.html#ixzz2Bu4Gv7RQ
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

(Source: the-funeral-party, via homosensuous-deactivated2014022)

Filed under transgender love relationships

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Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

Bob Marley (via peonyblack)

I identified with everything here. Dani ~ something for you and luv2pleaseher.

 ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

(via jakupwashere)

Thank you my friend, it is truly beautiful and I’m honored you thought of us as well.

(via danisplayground)

beautiful~vixen

(via white-wolfs-world)

Love this 

(via lets-talk-about-umm)

Every word of this speaks to me - this is my wonderful Ken

(via lets-talk-about-umm)

Filed under love relationships ken

460 notes &

While communicating consent may seem like it only matters in the early stages of a romantic relationship, it is also an issue for long-term couples. Granted, if you have been intimate with someone for a while you probably have a sense of their preferences and boundaries (and if you don’t, you might want to start paying more attention). But something that felt good before may suddenly become uncomfortable. If that happens, the same rules apply. If it’s your boundaries that have changed, be willing to say so. Length of relationship does not cancel out consent, so if you’re the one being told to stop, stop.

http://www.theaggie.org/2012/01/10/column-sex-ed-2/

Again, this was the first column I wrote.  I will say it again and again:  length of relationship does not cancel out consent.

(via geekybombshell)

(via allthechocolatesinthebox)

Filed under consent relationships

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Reid Mihalko’s formula for how to have Difficult Conversations - article available here

This came across my path at a particularly good time. I’ve used this formula (just now) to write up a plan for a conversation I need to have. Haven’t had it yet, but I’m feeling much better now that I have an idea of how to approach this difficult, scary, intense conversation with my loved ones.

I’m really enjoying this entire series of videos and have found lots of helpful advice.

Filed under relationships connection communication fear intimacy

2 notes &

I guess, as the old saying goes, the more things change the more they stay the same. I was talking to a young woman today and she made a comment about ‘how to please a man’. It went something along the lines of “feed him and then suck his cock”. I was suddenly reminded very much of my wife when I first met her all those years ago. She was raised with a similar view. As I said, the more things change the more they stay the same. The question, is where do woman get these ideas?

Let me get this out on the table. It takes a hell of a lot more than food and a blow job to make a man happy. You might get away with that with boys but never men. We can feed ourselves, bath, jerk off and wipe our own asses. We don’t need to be taken care of! What do men need then? What makes men happy? Partners! A man wants a woman who is willing to work with him through the hard times and knows how to enjoy the good ones. We want someone to share sorrows and joys with. We don’t want someone to nurse and humor us, we want lovers, friends and companions. These are the things that make us happy.

Oh, and when it comes to sex we want someone who is not only good, game and giving; we want someone who is willing to receive! None of this “no that was OK” or “oh, no I don’t feel like cumming” or “whatever you want to do”. BULLSHIT! Tell me how you like it, what you want to do and how you want it to be done. We are adults; this guessing game went out of fashion in elementary school. Share your fantasies, your desires or even what needs to be done to make sex better for you. Men have no problems receiving pleasure but it cannot be one sided.

Is every woman like this? Of course not. But that philosophy is still out there and it needs to be stopped!

Now, through all of this I’ve use the hetero-normative voice. But guess what. This applies to every group of adults. There are LGBT people who have the same problem. This isn’t about straight men and straight women. It is a human problem.

We all must remember that if you are only trying to please the other people in your life you will only succeed in aggravating them. Find what makes you happy and then share it with the ones you love.

And if that love includes blow jobs, I don’t think that there would be many men who would mind. Just give us a chance to return the favor. :-)

Kinseyan-Thoughts

Filed under sex happiness relationships love communication