Loves of a Sex Geek

Sex-Positive Counselor

Posts tagged sex education

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Hurt Vs. Harm in BDSM


I know this cat so go read his stuff at: 

His submission:


There are many different types of people involved in both kink and BDSM. There are many different roles that these people play as well. There are Doms and Dommes, subs and bois, painsluts and kinksters and more and more and more. Even within these different roles there are degrees of difference as well. A sadist does not have to be a Daddy, but they can be. A masochist is not required to be a submissive. To further complicate things the types of scenes can, and will, change from one to the next even within the same relationship. So a Dom may have a very intense single tail scene with their partner one day and have a sensual sensation play scene involving no pain what so ever the next. There is one common theme throughout all of this though; while not every scene will involve hurting someone they will always run the risk of harming someone.

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Filed under bdsm hurt harm safe sex safety Sex education

132 notes

Many of the reactions to this growing awareness that I’ve seen from men is some form of resentment that they don’t get to flirt with, cruise, or attempt to pick up women whenever they happen to see someone attractive. Leaving aside the underlying assumption that men should be able to express their sexual desire any time we want, I want to talk about the general cluelessness of most men around the incessant sexual intrusion that most women experience and the effects that has on flirting.

I’m writing this specifically for the men who want to flirt with women, whether the hope is for a one-night stand, a relationship, a conversation, a date, or simply to pass the time. What happens when the intention is to harass, stalk, annoy, or get any other reaction from women is a different thing. But right there, that is the root of the problem. A lot of the time, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to tell the difference. That sucks for the guys who genuinely want to connect with someone. And you know what? As much as it sucks for you and me, it’s many, many times worse for women.

From this awesome piece by super-sex-educator Charlie Glickman. He hits the nail on the head! And thanks Charlie for not willing to expect women to change how gender roles and sexual communication works. We’re all in this together, let’s work together. 

Filed under flirting gender expression communication gender roles sex education Violence against women

4,752 notes

I think that a sixteen-year-old who has had comprehensive sex education and who’s been taught to have a healthy perspective on the emotional and physical responsibilities that come with sex is a lot more prepared for a sexual relationship than a twenty-one-year-old who has known only shame-based abstinence-only education and virginity pledges.
Jessica Valenti (via piranhaheart)

(via sexisnottheenemy)

Filed under sex education abstinence-only comprehensive youth