Loves of a Sex Geek

Sex-Positive Counselor

Posts tagged sex positive

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there is nothing wrong with talking about sex

there is nothing wrong with wanting sex

there is nothing wrong with feeling almost desperate for sex

there is nothing wrong with talking about your sex life in an appropriate setting

there is nothing wrong with being sexually open

or liking sex

or loving sex

or having a lot of sexual partners

there’s nothing wrong with being sex positive if you do it for you

it’s okay

now go, be free, fuck~

(Source: elizabethbanner, via allthechocolatesinthebox)

Filed under slut shaming sex positive sex sexuality freedom

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Let me reiterate that to you: If facials or any other sex act makes you feel bad, gross uncomfortable or degraded, then you should not do it ever. That is wrong. But men aren’t the only ones who like things they see in porn. In my case, there’s nothing degrading about receiving a desired sex act I’ve asked for as a consenting adult. Sex acts are degrading when they make you feel degraded — and nobody gets to decide that but you, not even feminism.

-Emily McCombs, Do Women Like Facials? (via catarangs)

“Sex acts are degrading when they make you feel degraded — and nobody gets to decide that but you, not even feminism.” YES THANK YOU.


(via fuckyeahsexpositivity)

(via allthechocolatesinthebox)

Filed under feminism sex positive sexual freedom

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Americans are creating massive public outcries in favor of birth control. Translation: Americans are creating massive public outcries in favor of sex for pleasure, sex for reasons other than procreation, sex for sex’s own sake. Americans are willing to stand up and acknowledge that they have sex because it feels good — and they are creating massive public outcries when people try to interfere with that, or try to shame them about it. I don’t think that would have been the case twenty years ago. Maybe not even ten years ago. But now, today, in 2012, Americans are willing, and proud, and passionately eager, to say out loud, ‘I use birth control. I have sex for pleasure. I don’t want to have children right now, I may never want to have children — and I still plan to have sex. And that is a good thing.’
Greta Christina (Birth Control, and Why I’m Proud of Americans Right Now)

(via sexisnottheenemy)

Filed under birth control freedom choice sex positive pleasure politics

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Trailer for Public Sex, Private Lives - As Violet Blue said: “Thank goodness that we live in the era that porn performers, dominatrixes and sex workers can now finally *actually* describe the work they do and what it means for them in their own words (as opposed to the past where others speak – often incorrectly – for these women). No more.”

Filed under sex work sex positive pornography

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Sex-positive: definition and importance

Violet Blue recently asked her readers “What does sex-positive mean to you?"  At the time, I wasn’t sure how to answer, so I didn’t. Tonight, while completing the required reading for my graduate level abnormal psychology class I read a couple phrases that cemented my personal definition of what it means to be sex-positive. 

"Socially transmitted negative attitudes about sex may interact with a person’s relationship difficulties and predispositions to develop performance anxiety and, ultimately, lead to sexual dysfunction… Unlike other disorders discussed in this book, one surprisingly simple treatment is effective for a large number of individuals who experience sexual dysfunction: education. Ignorance of the most basic aspects of the sexual response cycle and intercourse often leads to long-lasting dysfunctions."

Barlow, D. H., & Durand, V. M. (2005). Abnormal psychology: An integrative approach (4th ed.). Belmont: Thomson Wadsworth. 

Our society teaches us maladaptive beliefs and behavior patterns regarding sex, and consequently, our children grow up to be dysfunctional in their sexual expression and relationships. Being sex-positive means knowing and embracing that sex is natural and an important part of life. When we try to hide sex behind fear and judgment, ignorance and anxiety breed dysfunction, which causes dissatisfaction and even suffering. All of which can be reversed with education. It’s so simple! For me, being sex-positive means I understand the value sex has in my life, in everyone’s life. I believe education regarding sex is important for people of all ages and I discourage reinforcement of damaging preconceptions and stereotypes regarding sex. 

Filed under sex positive violet blue